Never Let It Go
by Kavi Leighanna
Summary: The Messer Family is far from perfect, but in the end, they have each other.
1. Never Let It Go

_**These were originally three separate stories, but I figured it would make my life and your lives easier if I just put them all into one. I'd like to thank everyone who originally reviewed all three stories in the series. I felt bad when I deleted the first two off the site (to plop them all in here) because so many people reviewed, but thank you.**_

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**Never Let It Go**

Lindsay Messer couldn't help the smile that blossomed over her face as she stepped into their apartment after a rather busy shift. The case she and Mac had covered had closed itself, but the others had not been so lucky. Her samples had been pushed aside for a high profile attorney murder Stella and Hawkes had been working. She'd been more than happy to take Mac's advice and head home early to her two boys. She took in the two soup bowls on the counter and smiled softly before turning her attention to the living room and the occupants of the couch.

Danny and Braden Messer slept peacefully, the television flickering on a Disney movie in the background. Lindsay had to smile at the adorable picture they made. Braden was curled into Danny's chest, one hand grasping a handful of his father's t-shirt. Danny's arms were wrapped tightly around the three-year-old.

It had taken them a lot to reach the point they were at. There were things she had to let go of, things in her past she had to come to grips with. That didn't even touch on Danny's past and the issues within. While she had been able to testify to her problems, to air them in court, Danny had been forced to battle his internally, without any sort of real closure. It had taken Lindsay months to work past his walls and she had been forced to draw on every ounce of her patience to do so. Still, when he had opened up, when she had told him it didn't matter and that his past made him the man she loved, the intensity of his response had been worth every nail-biting minute.

Lindsay sighed, heading into the bathroom to wash off her makeup and possibly the exhaustion she was feeling. Having both boys sick had been difficult for her. If Braden wasn't crying, Danny was up emptying his stomach. The three days they'd both been home had been torturous. It didn't mean she would change what she had. Despite Braden's button nose – an inherited trait from his mother – he was all Danny, and Lindsay quite enjoyed having him around the house.

Having changed into comfortable track pants and exchanging her work-appropriate blouse for a simple t-shirt, she made her way back into the living room and then on to the kitchen. Since they were both sleeping, she was reluctant to wake them up, even just to say hello. Braden's sleeping patterns had been odd from the start and though she wished her son was up racing about the apartment. The quiet would allow her headache and frustration to dissipate. As quietly as she could, she cleaned up the pot, spoons and bowls, replacing them in the cupboard after drying them off. As she was stretched up to put the last bowl back on the top shelf of the cupboard, she felt a tiny tug on her leg.

Braden looked up at her hopefully and she smiled as she picked him up. "Hello, sweetheart," she cooed softly, resting her head on his as he snuggled into her neck. She was pleasantly surprised to feel his forehead had cooled down since she had placed her wrist against his forehead that morning. Lindsay went about wiping down the counters and the stove, Braden still perched on her hip.

"How are you feeling?" Lindsay asked softly after she'd finished cleaning the kitchen.

Braden whimpered and shook his head, his hair brushing her cheek.

"No better?"

A nod.

"Maybe we should put you to bed, huh? You and Daddy." She spun as she heard a low chuckle.

Danny walked towards her, brushing his hand over Braden's head and chastely kissing her cheek. "Good day in the office, dear?"

She couldn't help the smile that blossomed. "Mac and I were shoved aside for the high profile case Stella and Hawkes pulled. He sent me home early to my two sick babies," Lindsay replied kissing Braden's forehead.

"We spent most of the day sleeping. Neither of us had to race to the bathroom today."

Lindsay smiled down at her little boy. He was already falling back to sleep. "So you're feeling better?"

"Much. We both managed to keep down soup. I should be able to head back into work tomorrow," Danny replied. Nothing could ever rival the picture Lindsay made cradling his son close to her chest. It still took him by surprise sometimes when he woke up beside her, awed him when he caught the glint of her engagement ring and wedding band in the edge of his vision. Lindsay Monroe-now-Messer had not only agreed to date him, but eventually married him and gave birth to his son.

"We'll have to take him in. I don't want him to go back to the daycare until we know he's back to one hundred percent," Lindsay admitted.

Danny let out a huge yawn. "Well let's see how he is tomorrow. Come lay down with me?"

"You just woke up," she said with a laugh.

"And I'm tired again. Come on, Montana…"

With Braden asleep on her shoulder and Danny whining with a puppy dog face, Lindsay didn't stand a chance at resisting. "For a little bit," she conceded. "We'll see if you guys can handle some solid food for dinner."

Lindsay allowed Danny to take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. Carefully, they moved around until Braden was tucked securely between them. When Lindsay curled in close, entangling her feet with Danny's, Braden grabbed a handful of her shirt, exactly the same way he had when he had been an infant. Lindsay locked eyes with Danny over their son's head, closing her eyes at the gentle way he tucked a curl behind her ear.

"Good night family," he whispered, his hand trailing down across her cheek and over Braden's head.

As Lindsay drifted off, her eyes slipping shut and closing out everything but the feeling of the little boy in her arms and the man snuggled close, she knew that whatever happened outside of their apartment she had everything she'd ever wanted right there beside her. Every minute she spent with them she treasured and held close to her heart.

And she'd never let that go.


	2. New Addition

**New Addition**

"Daddy!"

Danny grinned as he scooped his son into his arms, just getting home from a night out with his wife. "Hey, Buddy." He headed off down the hall leaving Lindsay to pay the teenage girl from the floor above. After locking up, she followed the path they'd taken, leaning against Braden's doorframe as Danny tucked their son into bed.

Danny caught Lindsay's gaze. "Braden, Mommy and I have somethin' we wanna talk to you about."

Braden looked up at his father with curious innocence.

Danny smoothed his hand over Braden's head, taking a seat on the edge of the small bed. He wasn't even sure how to go about telling his only child the news he and Lindsay had discussed over dinner. He glanced at his wife, hoping she would step in.

"Remember the talk you and I had when you found out Kyle was going to have a new sister?" she asked softly, her voice gentle. "About how his Mommy and Daddy were really going to need his help?"

Braden nodded, his face knitting in a frown. "His Mommy and Daddy don't play with him anymore."

Lindsay chuckled at Danny's alarmed face. She was the oldest of four siblings and she could still remember her mother regaling her and Danny with stories of the numerous ways she'd tried to get rid of her siblings because she was so scared her parents wouldn't love her anymore. "His Mommy and Daddy are pretty busy with Anna, sweetheart. Babies take a lot of work."

Danny saw this as his chance to jump in. "And when your little brother or sister we're really going to need your help, Buddy."

Braden's eyes went wide as they darted between her parents. He pouted. "No. I don't wanna be a big brother."

Lindsay sighed heavily, looking down at where her hands lay in her lap.

Danny reached over, squeezing her hand to get her attention. He cocked his head towards the door, a silent request passing between them. He watched carefully as she took the hint and stepped out of the room closing the door softly behind her.

"Braden," Danny started.

Braden shook his head, flipping away from his father and attempting to pull his blankets over his head.

Danny caught the covers. "I need you to hear me out, Buddy," Danny said softly.

Braden stayed curled away.

"I'll make you a deal," Danny proposed. "Mommy and I are going to be busy when the baby gets here, but if you can help us a little bit, I'll make sure we put some time aside for just you and me, okay?"

Braden peeked out from the pillow. "You'll play catch?" he asked in a small voice.

Danny grinned. "Of course I'll play catch with you," he answered. "You're my buddy."

Braden giggled. "Mommy will still watch movies with me right? And read me stories before bed?"

"And let you lick the last of the cookie dough out of the bowl, and make your favourite sandwich for lunch," Danny agreed, tucking Braden in again. "And if it's a baby sister, I'm really gonna need your help to keep her safe and protected. That's the job of a big brother, you know." He watched closely as Braden drifted off, content and reassured for the time being.

Danny sighed as he stood. He'd have to talk with Braden about being extra good for Lindsay over the next nine months. Sure that Braden was asleep he left the room and headed down the hall to the bed he shared with his wife.

Lindsay had been horrible for the nine months she was pregnant with Braden. She could be incredibly happy one minute and bawling her eyes out the next. She'd pummelled his chest with her fists a week after she'd started her maternity leave because she couldn't see her feet, her back hurt and he was the reason she was that way, then apologized an hour later and blamed it on cabin fever. Still, Danny was sure he'd put up with whatever she threw at him if it meant watching her stomach swell with _their_ child, if it meant holding another small bundle of blankets like Braden had been.

His wife was already in her pyjamas curled so her back was to him. He took in the shaking o fher shoulders, understanding Braden had unconsciously and unintentionally hurting her with his blatant rejection of the new addition to their family.

"Montana," he said softly, stripping himself down to his boxers and tank top.

Lindsay didn't move. She sniffled, allowing him to wrap his arms around her and pull her back into his body. She tried to hold in the tears.

"I talked to Braden," he said softly. "We made a deal."

Lindsay made a non-committed sound in the back of her throat.

"He's scared, Linds. We all are. He didn't mean anything by it." Danny's hand stroked her stomach where the new baby was growing.

"Are we ready for another one, Danny?" Lindsay finally asked once her tears had dried.

Danny smiled softly, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. "We've got each other, Linds, and we've got Braden. What else to do we need?"

As she drifted into dreams of new babies and happy families, Lindsay knew he was right.


	3. His Everything

**_So, I finally got the inspiration to add to the family series. This follows New Addition though I guess it's technically not necessary that you read it first. A tiny father-son moment, a bigger father-daughter moment and the requisite DL at the end, enjoy._**

**_And before you all start asking about Dancing I'm going to tell you that I have absolutely no inspiration for writing it. I've tried, a hundred times to write the next bit and it just isn't happening. You guys deserve better than a half-attempt (for those of you reading this that also read that!)_**

**_Anywho... enjoy!_**

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Lindsay Messer had been having little pains all day. She couldn't find a comfortable spot on the couch and her frustration was making her cranky. Her pregnancy with her and Danny's second child had been a fairly easy one in comparison to Braden's. Their little baby girl was much calmer than her soccer player of a brother.

She groaned as she stood, looking for a glass of water from the kitchen. Maternity leave had been a blessing in disguise. She loved her work and she loved the lab, but walking around with a bulging stomach and the overprotective nature of each and every one of her colleagues had deteriorated into a screaming match with her husband more than once. But Danny had been a trooper.

Another pain passed through her back and abdomen. Lindsay grasped the edge of the counter as she waited for it to pass.

"Mommy, we're back!"

Lindsay smiled at the sound of her son's voice. Stella, with a day off and no pressing cases, had taken Braden for the day instead of sending the boy to daycare. Lindsay didn't mind. Braden loved spending time with the lab family.

"Mommy?"

Lindsay managed a half decent smile at her son, even as the pain ripped through her again. "Hey sweetheart. Did you have fun with Aunt Stella?"

The little boy nodded enthusiastically, glancing up at the curly-haired woman. "We went to the park and then we went to the lab and I got to see Uncle Adam do a fingerprint!"

Lindsay laughed, her eyes meeting Stella's only briefly. The next thing she knew she felt the wetness in her pants. "Braden?"

"Mommy, did you have a accident?"

If Lindsay hadn't been dealing with the fear of having her baby right that second, she probably would have laughed. "Honey, I need you to listen for a minute, okay?" At Braden's nod, she continued. "Remember that bag in the closet that Daddy showed you? I need you to run and grab it, okay?"

When Braden scampered off, Stella took no time in approaching Lindsay. "You okay to make it to the SUV? I stole it from the lab because I have the early shift tomorrow morning."

"I can make it down there on my own," Lindsay promised. "Can grab my purse for me?"

Soon, the three of them were making their way down into the NYPD car. Another contraction hit just as Lindsay was buckling Braden in and she cried out.

"Mommy?" Braden's voice was small and scared.

Lindsay winced, feeling guilty for making her baby scared like this. "I'm okay, honey," she tried to reassure him, even as her knuckles went white on the door of the car. "We're going to the hospital, okay? Your baby sister wants to meet you." Making sure her son was completely strapped in, she made her way to the other side. It drove Danny nuts, but Lindsay would never sit up front in the passenger's seat when she was pregnant. It had started with Braden and this one was no different.

She leaned her head back against the headrest as Stella started the car and the sirens. She laughed to herself at the abuse of power, but was thankful for it. There was no way this baby was coming in the car and there was no way she was letting Braden see her in any more pain than she was.

The next contraction hit and she cried out again, softly swearing as she waited for it to pass. When her eyes opened, the locked on Braden's terrified gaze and she gently stroked his stomach to calm him, like she did when he was an infant. "I'm okay, I'm going to be fine." She dug around in her bag for her iPod and handed it over to the four-year-old. "You stick those in your ears and we'll be at the hospital before you know it."

Lindsay met Stella's eyes in the rear view. "Do you think you could call Danny? Hearing me in labour will probably be more dangerous for the people of New York than you calmly telling him."

Stella laughed slightly pulling out her cell and relaying the message to Danny. "He'll meet us at the hospital. You okay?"

"I'll be better when they give me those glorious drugs," Lindsay joked, wincing at the aftermath of her last contraction. "I just feel horrible that Braden has to see this."

The little boy looked terrified as he watched his mother wince and cry out in pain. Lindsay tried to keep it in, tried not to cry out and scare him anymore, but labour, she found, was _painful_. It had been with Braden, and apparently her second pregnancy wasn't going to be much different. She groaned as she waited for Stella to grab a nurse and settled herself in the wheelchair when it was brought to her door. Trusting that Stella would bring Braden in, she relaxed into the chair and let the nurses steer her into the maternity ward.

Ten minutes later, a frazzled Danny raced in. "Montana?"

She smiled as she relaxed against the sheets having just coached herself through another contraction. "How many speed limits did you break?"

"All of them," he conceded with his half-smirk-half-smile that never failed to melt her anger.

Lindsay nodded absently. "Have you seen Braden?"

Danny shook his head. "I kind of raced in here. I didn't make a stop. Is he okay?"

"You didn't think of your only son? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Danny took a deep breath in, reminding himself of the mood swings she had displayed during labour with Braden. She'd cried, screamed and afterwards had told him he was the greatest man in the world and that he'd make a brilliant father. "Did the doctors do the epidural yet?"

"No, they were going to wait until you were here."

Danny nodded. "I'll go find Braden, you try and relax. I'll be back."

Said four-year-old was quietly sitting beside Stella, his fingers tracing over the edges of what Danny knew to be Lindsay's iPod. "Hey buddy," he said softly.

Braden threw himself into his father's arms. "Mommy wouldn't stop screaming. What's wrong, Daddy?"

Danny smiled at Stella, whatever information they had passing through their eyes. It was a neat trick the whole team had developed through working together. Stella stepped outside to make the calls to the lab, and Danny knew she'd probably be heading back there to cover the end of his shift.

"Mommy's going to be fine," Danny tried to reassure his son, tucking the small body as close as he possibly could. Braden started sobbing in Danny's arms, shaking violently.

"She was yelling bad words," Braden managed in between sobs.

Danny sighed. "It hurts when Mommies have babies, bud."

Braden's tearstained face looked into the identical eyes of his father. "Why?"

"I wish I could tell you. I haven't had to go through it so I have no idea."

Stella chose that very opportune moment to come back into the waiting room, smiling apologetically. "I have to head in."

Danny nodded, running his free hand, the one not wrapped around his son, through his hair. "D'ya think Mac'll mind if you take Braden? I think he's seen enough of Linds' pain for one day."

Stella smiled. "I doubt it. He was there a couple of hours ago and Mac didn't say anything. I'm sure Adam wouldn't mind keeping an eye on him for a bit."

Danny sighed gratefully. "Thanks Stel."

She nodded. "Go be with Lindsay. And call us when the baby's born."

"I will," he promised.

Hours later, Danny stood over the little bassinet, holding his new daughter. Gabriella Taylor Messer was tiny, smaller than her brother had been at birth. Yet, she'd been stubborn in coming out. The labour had lasted much longer than Braden's had and Lindsay had fallen asleep almost directly afterwards.

Her little eyes flickered open and he could see Lindsay's honey brown irises already starting to take over her bright blues. "Hey there Princess," he said softly, rocking her against him to try and let Lindsay sleep just that little bit longer. "I'm your daddy." He felt tears welling in his eyes as he looked down at her. He loved Braden dearly, but he'd always wanted a little girl.

"Do you think you can be good for Mommy? I know, it's probably a lot to ask of a little person like you but your Mommy gets tired easily, even though she won't admit it. You big brother used to scream bloody murder when he wanted anything. Do you think you could be a little nicer than that?" He knew talking to the infant was probably pretty pointless, but he continued anyway.

"If you can do that I promise to keep my badge and gun hidden for the first boy you bring home. It won't be happenin' until you're like, forty, but I'll do it anyway." He took a breath here, looking down at the little infant and remembering the fear he'd felt the first time he'd held his son.

"You know, you're almost scarier than your big brother was," he said softly. "You're my baby girl, my princess, and if you look like your Mommy now, I can only imagine what you're gonna to look like when you're older. Your mother is still beautiful." He rocked her gently in his arms as she started to fuss and she calmed. He chuckled. "A daddy's girl already, huh? That's alright. Braden was a mommy's boy since the minute he met us both. He can play your mother with a rightly placed pout that boy. Mommy says it's because he reminds her so much of me. I guess then you remind me of your Mom. She could get me to jump of a building if she tried hard enough."

"Well we wouldn't want that."

Danny turned carefully, Gabby still cradled against his chest, to meet Lindsay's tired eyes. "Hey."

"Hey," she responded with a smile. "Are you teaching her bad habits already?"

He grinned. "We're just havin' a heart-to-heart, that's all. No need to worry."

"The last time you had a heart-to-heart with your son he scraped his knee and elbow jumping off the end of the slide in the park," Lindsay pointed out, though the teasing smile on her face told him he wasn't in any trouble.

As if sensing her mother was now awake, Gabby started fussing again and Danny willingly handed the infant over. "We wanted to let you sleep."

"This one was a little more exhausting than Braden," she acknowledged, smiling at the small child in her arms.

Danny took in the picture of mother and daughter and felt tears spring to his eyes. He wasn't one for crying, but the love and affection that filled his chest also closed his throat. He loved his family more than life itself. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed as Lindsay shifted to feed the infant. He stroked Lindsay's head absently, shifting his fingers through her mussed curls. "I love you."

She smiled up at him brilliantly. "I love you, too."

Danny kissed Lindsay's head and watched mother and daughter. This was his life, this was his family.

This was his everything.


End file.
